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Funny Jokes

439 clean jokes to share.

He Was President

"You should be ashamed," the father told his son, "When Abraham Lincoln was your age he used to walk ten miles everyday to get to school." "Really?" the kid said. "Well when he was your age, he was President."

Husband Needs Rest

Doc:Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills. Wife:When must I give them to him? Doc: They are for you.

She Wont Eat The Mushroom

1stMan:Iwas married 3times;My first 2 died of poisonous mushrooms,& 3rd died of fractured skull. 2ndMan:Sad,how did it happen?1stMan:She wont eat the mushroom

Wife To The Doctor

Man took his wife to the doctor. After a short examination the doctor said "Your wife`s mind has completely gone!`. To which the man replied "I`m not surprised. She`s been giving a piece of it to me every day for the pasts 25 years!"

Marriage Jokes

3dreams of a man: 1.To be as handsome as his mother thinks he is. 2.To be as rich as his child thinks he is. 3.To have as many women as his wife believes he has.

Hilarious Jokes

Boy:what will you give me as reward if I climb Mt.Everest? Girl: A push!!

Sardar Jokes

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. The Chinese friend just says CHIN YU YAN and dies. Sardarji goes to China 2 find meaning of friends last words. It is U R STANDING ON the OXYGEN TUBE.

Believe In Hell

Santa and Banta were talking the other day at work. Sanda said, "My wife gave me religion." "Really?" Banta replied. "Yes. Until I married her I didn`t believe in Hell."

Roomaal Nahi.....

Kapray ki dukan mein aik aurat dakhil hoi aur kapray ka aik tukra dukan dar k samne phaikntay hoey ghussay say boli "yay daikho aik martabba ki dhulai mein is ka kiya hashar hoa hai" Dukan dar nay kapray ko daikhte hoay kaha "mujhay to roomaal mein koi kharabi nazar nahi aa rahi" yay sun kar aurat nay kaha "yay roomaal nahi yay ap ki dukan say kharidi hoi chadar hai mein nay aj pehli baar issay dhoya hai".

34 Teeths.....

Do admi lar rahe they... aur eak un ko lartay dekh raha thaaPehla admi bola "aik hi mukka maar kar chontees dant tor doon ga" Teesra admi bola "wah sahib kiya baat hai laiken dant to battis hotey hain" Pehla admi bola "mujhay maloon tha k tum darmian mein bolo gay is liyay do dant tumhare bhi shamil kar liyay they" pehlay admi nay jawab diya.

A Teacher

TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?PAPPU: A Teacher

Same Dog.....

TEACHER: PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brothers. Did you copy his ?PAPPU: No, teacher, it is the same dog !

Mom Is A Good Cook.....

TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?PAPPU: No sir, I donot have to, my mom is a good cook.

Really Strange.....

TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots !PAPPU: Yes its really strange. I have got another pair just like that at home.

Mummy.....

PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

Mother And Father.....

TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?"PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."

Ninth Letter.....

TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".PAPPU : I is...TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L.....

TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"TEACHER : No, thats wrongPAPPU : Maybe its wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

Pappu....

TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.PAPPU : Here it is!TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?CLASS : PAPPU!