Fun
439 clean jokes to share.
Circuit takes a flight to Singapore and he is seated next to an Englishman. Circuit open his tiffin and serves himself a roti. ENGLISHMAN : What is this? CIRCUIT : Bread India Circuit then open the box of jalebi. ENGLISHMAN : What is this? CIRCUIT : Sweet India With all the food he hogged on, Munna farts. The Englishman is offended and in shock asks ... ENGLISHMAN : What is that? CIRCUIT : Air India
MUNNA BHAI : Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai? CIRCUIT : Bhai, gaadi hai. MUNNA BHAI : Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai? CIRCUIT : Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.
PROFESSOR : Akal badi ki bhais? MUNNA BHAI : Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.
MAMU : Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Sindhi sikhna padega. Kuch hal batao. MUNNA BHAI : Kannada kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai? MAMU : Meinay ek Sindhi baccha adopt kiya hai, aur woh char mahinay mein bolne lagay ga.
CIRCUIT : Bhai, woh apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla hai aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please. MUNNABHAI : Kyun tera dost chor hai kya? CIRCUIT : Nehin Bhai, woh apnay chain pechan lega.
MAMU : Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya? GIRL : Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?
CIRCUIT : Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai. MUNNA BHAI : Aye Circuit, woh Sabrina ka baap aya hai tere ko dund rehla hai. CIRCUIT : Bhai usko bolo apun gaoon gayea hai, kheti karne ko. MUNNA BHAI : Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega. CIRCUIT : Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.
PROFESSOR : Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jante ho? MUNNA BHAI : Gandhi bahut zabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin maloom ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.
SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark? FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write? SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? PUPIL: A teacher.
TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brothers. Did you copy his? DESMOND: No, teacher, its the same dog!
TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SAM: No sir, I dont have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his fathers cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, do you know why his father didnt punish him?" JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand."
TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I." ELLEN: I is... TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am." ELLEN: All right.. "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty? TOMMY: Well, I m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we did not have ten years ago. WILLIE: Me!
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: George!
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? SARAH: H I J K L M N O!! TEACHER: What are you talking about? SARAH: Yesterday you said its H to O!
TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?" JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L" TEACHER: No, that s wrong JOHN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!