Fun

Funny Jokes

439 clean jokes to share.

Recognize A Sardar

How do you recognize a Sardar in School? He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

Ghalat Aadmi

Ek qaidi ko police walay zor zor se maar rahay hote hain.
wo usko jitna maartay wo utni zor zor se hans raha hota hai.
ek danda parta... cheekh cheekh kar hansta... hahahahhaha..

thapar parta.. or zor se hansta .. hahahhahahah.
akhir police walay pareshan aagaye.

ek Police walay ne poocha bhai tumhara masla kya hai?

tumeh hum mar rahay hain or tum hansay ja rahay ho?
Qaidi bola: Tumeh pata he nahee hai tum ghalat aadmi ko maar ho !...

A Sardarji Is In The Library

A SARDARJI is in the library ,he bangs down a book and says:" too boring, too many characters and no story".LIBRARIAN says : oh! U r the one who tookthe phone directory away??

Teacher and a student
Teacher : U have 2 aim 4 90 % marks in dis examz ......
Student : dont worry teacher i have aimed 4 100 % dis time
Teacher : plz dun play jokes, i m serious
Student : but teacher u started it first

Pagal Khaane Ka Visit

Ek pagal khaane ka visit kerne kuch log gaye waha unho ne ek ek admi ko ek bari si gurriya ke sath baate kerte dekha to Dr se poocha k is kya prob hai Dr ne kaha k is ki kahani bohot derdnaak hai is ko aik larki se shadeed mohabbat thi laikin us ne is admi ko chor ke kissi aur se shadi ker li. Isliye yeh pagal ho gaya hai aur is gurriya ko woh larki samajh kar baate kerta hai. Kuch agey gaye to un ko ek aisa admi nazer aaya jo apna ser deewaaron par maar raha tha is k ser ko taqleef se bachaane k liye deewaaron par foam laga diye gaye the. Is k bare main Dr se poocha gaya to Dr ne kaha k yeh wo admi hai jis se us larki ne shadi ki thi.

History

Ek sahab ne school mein apne bete ki teacher se poocha "Mera beta tareekh(history)mein kaisa hai? Main to tareekh mein bohot nalaiq tha "Teacher ne jawab diya "tareekh apne app ko dohra rahi hai sir".

Talba-O-Taalbaat

1st yr ki talba-o-taalbaat ko english k teacher nay Vocabulary yaad kerwaatay hoey kaha :
"Tum main jo bhi eik lafz ko das (10) martaba dohraey ga tou wo lafz hamaisha k leye oss ka ho jaey gaa..."
Pehli line main khari khoobsooorat larki nay foran dohraana shoro ker deya: "Nasir, Nasir, Nasir...

(4) Rooz

Chaar (4) rooz ki musalsal bayhoshi k baad mareez ki aankh khuli tou apni chaheeti biwi ko serhaanay baithay dekh ker kaha :
"Khuda k leye ghar ja ker aaram kero baigam... Mayray saath tum kiun perayshaan ho rahe ho..."
"Mujhey maloom tha tum yehe kaho gay... Issi leye main chaar rooz k leye apnay maikay chali gae thee... Abhi wahein say aa rahe hoon..." Biwi nay muskura ker jawab deya...

Tasweer

CID Inspector ki post k silsalay main interviews ho rahay thaay... Muqarar waqt per sirf teen he larhkay aaey... Pehlay ko ander bulaya gaya... Interview laynay walay chairman nay ossay yak-rookhi tasweer di aur poocha : "Iss tasweer main anookhi baat kia hai...?"
Larhkay nay bohat ghoor k baad jawab deya k wo hazrat jin ki ye tasweer hai sirf eik kaan rakhtay hain.
Iss per chairmain hayraan hoa aur kaha : "Mohteram! ye side pose hai... Zahiri baat hai k eik kaan he nazar aaey gaa... App ja saktay hain."
Dosray larhkay nay bhi yehe jawab deya : "kaan eik he hai..."
Chairman aagh bhagoola ho gaya aur iss qadar maamooli zahanat rakhnay per ossay bhi jaanay ko keh deya..
Teesray larhkay say bhi yehe sawal keya gaya... Oss nay tasweer ka baghoor jaiza leya... Bohat soochnay k baad oss nay kaha : "Wo hazrat jin ki ye tasweer hai onhoon nay contact lense lagaey hain."
Ye suntay he chairman apni kursi say ochal pera aur kaha : "App ka jawab bilkul dorust hai... App ye bataein app nay ye kaisay jana?"
Oss nay kaha : "Inn hazrat ki omer chaleees (40) say oper ki lagti hai... Iss omer main amooman nazar kamzoor ho jati hai... Inhoon nay ainak ki bajaey contact lense lagwa leye kiunK ainak laganay k leye doo kaan chaheyein jo inn k pass hain nahi... Inn ka eik he kaan hai na...???"

Wat Frustrates The Sardarji

Wat frustrates the sardarji when his wife delivers twins??? Who is the father of the second child???

A Donkey Kicked Sardar

One day A Donkey Kicked Sardar on his Back and Run away. Next Day Sardar Found A Zebra In the Field. He Kicked the Zebra and Said : Sala Tracksuit Pehan kar Pagal Banata hai

100 Sardars

Star News of India gets news that 100 sardars are killed in a train accident at Amritsar station. Only one sardar left alive.
The correspondent goes to him and asks, "Sardarji how did it happen?"
Sardar: "Oh ji pucho mat. sab kuch sahi tha sab log platform par khade gaadi ki wait kar rahe they. Achanak announcement hui ki shatabdee express 2 no. platform par aa rahi hai. Jaise hi sab ne suna ki gaddi PLATFORM PAR aa rahi hai, sab log apni jaan bachane ke liye patri par kood gaye. Aur tabhi gaddi patri par aa gayi."
STAR NEWS: "Thank god. Aap ne samajhdari dikhayee. Aap patri par nahin koode."
Sardar: "oe nahin ji main to suicide karne ke liye patri par hi leta tha. Jaise hi announcement hui main to platform par chad gaya ."

Write An Essay

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

Postman

Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it.

Population

A Teacher lecturing on population: "In India after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid." A Sardar stands up- "We must find & stop her!”

Multi National Company

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.....On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!" The voice from the other side responded: "You fool; you have dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you are talking to?" "No" replied the trainee. "Its the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!" The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?" "No!" replied the Managing Director angrily. "Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone.....