There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft
engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at
each other wondering what could be wrong. The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace
where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineeer, not knowing much about cars, suggests
that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere. Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, "Why
donot we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe itll
work !?"
Its wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology canbe misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences.Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filledstreets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on abusiness trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife aquicke-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he hadwritten her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in frommemory.Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directedinstead to an elderly preachers wife, whose husband had passedaway only the day before. When the grieving widow checked here-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercingscream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this noteon the screen:Dearest Wife,Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrivaltomorrow.PS. Sure is hot down here.
Why couldnot the Sardar write the number "eleven"? He didnot know which "one" came first...
Why do Sardars have see-through lunch box lids? So that when theyre on the train they can tell if theyre going to work or coming home.
Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge? Theyre there for those who donot drink.
Sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his
first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile.
Then the foreman asked the Sardar why he kept painting less each day, he replied "I just canot do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can"
Banta Singh was painting his living room one hot day. "Why", his friend Santa Singh asked him, "are you wearing two jackets?". "Because," said Banta Singh, "The directions on the can says put on two coats
Did you hear about the Sardar who asked his friends to give him all of their burnt out light bulbs? He just bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.
Why are Sardar secret agents the best in the world?Because even under torture they canot remember what they have been assigned to.
How many Sardars does it take to pull off a kidnapping?
Six. One to kidnap the victim and five to write the ransom note.
A Sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says "Hello, how did
you know I was here?"
A Sardar was walking along, when he looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly,
the bird drops a load when it was directly over him. The Sardar says, "It is good that cows donot fly"
Sardar Banta Singh went to the emergency room with the tip of his index finger blown off. "How did this happen? the doctor asked. "Well I was trying to commit suicide, Banta Singh replied. The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?""No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my face would look horrible, then I put
it in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get my teeth straightened. So then I put
the gun in my ear and I thought this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my
other ear before I pulled the trigger."
One Sardar came to Madras and wanted to do shopping in Burma bazaar. His Tamilian friend told
the Sardar that the prices will be costly and hence asked him to bargain for half the price.
Sardar went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor told 2000 Rs. Sardar asked for
Rs.1000. vendor told he can give for Rs.1800 for which Sardar told no, no only Rs.900. Vendor
told ok, I will give it for 1500 Rs. for which Sardar bargained for Rs.750. It was going on like
this when finally vendor out of irritation said he will give the Sardar the stereo free of
cost."Our Sardar asked whether he will give two."
Then theres the one about the Sardarji who brought his binoculars to a funeral where they
were going to bury a DISTANT relative of his...
A Sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to whyre the guys
doing what theyre doing. The bystander: A Marathon race is going on Sardar: What do they get from that? Bystander : The winner will get a prize Sardar : Then why are the others running?!
Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the seat of his pants,
but it wouldnot light. He tried another. It wouldnot light. The third one finally lit. lit his
cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket. "What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?" "Thats a good match. Ill use it again."
45- Santa Singh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone. "Is this one one one one?", says the voice. "No, this is eleven eleven." "Are you sure it isnt one one one one?" "No, this is eleven eleven." "Well, wrong number. Sorry to have got you up on the middle of the night.""Thats all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."
A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but
starts washing the basin instead.The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar raheho?" To this the man replies,
"Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai, "Wash Basin".
Santa Singh is called for an interview in some firm. He lands there on time. He is
immediately hauled inside in front of the interviewing officer. Officer looks at Santa Singh then
goes through his certificates and then starts asking him questions. Following is the transcript : O : Mr. Santa Singh, after seeing your qualifications & credentials I would like to ask you only
some simple questions.If you can answer those then you are selected. First we will start with
some opposites S : Yes Sir. Officer started asking questionsO : Above S : Below O : Front S : Back O : Left S : Right O : Male S : Female O : Ugly (means Next in Punjabi) S : Pichhly (means Previous in Punjabi) O : Ugly...U-G-L-Y( Officer spells it) S : Pichhly...P-I-C-H-H-L-Y( Our Sardar also spells it) O : U.....G.....L ...... Y.....(Officer shouts) S : P ..... I ..... C ..... H ....... H ...... L ..... Y...... Our Sardar also shouts) Officer is
now angry. O : Get out S : Come in. O : Quiet please. S : Talk please. O : You are rejected. S : I am selected ....... ....... and This is how Santa Singh got his job.